Thoughts...

Hello old friend,
It's been awhile and I have grown up (not height wise, still the same shorty)... I've been studying and its just been difficult to wrap my head around these couple of lectures so I decided to procrastinate, what I do best! Looking back at my and others' old/new blog posts... I've realised how different I am nowadays and how disconnected I have become from my old friends, hell, even my new friends and the world. I was such a different person when I was young, so motivated, so active and just so much more... But nowadays, I rarely step out of the house unless invited out (which I bail half the time and I'm not even asked out that often) or to go to work or university. It scares me, how much I crave the quiet and solitary, how much I just want to keep sleeping and not wake up. When and why have I started to become ... this. Looking with someone else's perspective, I would never have assumed me as someone this miserable. What? Chin Li who is always all smiles, carefree, if a little antisocial? Chin Li that bought a car, live so luxuriously has an adorable cat and is welcomed by so many people both at work and socially? Carefree has become my middle name, as in I don't care enough to bother, cannot be fucked whatsoever about most things.v There is more than meets the eye, I am exceptionally grateful for all the luxuries I have and the opportunity to come to Melbourne and live so comfortably and have such a reception at work and my tiny group of friends I've met here that stuck to me thick and thin but I don't feel that I have improved in any way nor advanced anyone's life. But I am okay with that. I don't need to be relevant, I just need to get my life sorted and get my sense of urgency back. One thing I am certain about is how much I absolutely loathe studying, having absolutely no interest to do so and I cannot wait until I am done with this degree. I am still the same person, with my little nerdy love for books and video games. I just feel like I've past my prime at the age of 22 which is ridiculous. I won't say I'm happy, but I am content, I have outgrown the old bright, active, social butterfly Chin Li but I will from now on strive to be better than her even though it seems impossible. I will reconnect with my old friends, make an effort with my new ones and just stop this bullshit "content" and try. Just start trying again. Carefree is good, but care is better. I miss you.

Maybe I won't wake up tomorrow

Hello blog, it's been awhile... Mainly cause I have no exciting news. Tried out a new job last last week at a fruit and vegetable shop, it was all good... Then it sucked, cause I'm too short for the job? I'm glad though I had a chance on this one cause other companies just want "Australians" or "experience" which both I am not and have none. Seriously, Aussie get your shit together, give us internationals a chance and if you don't give experience where we gon get some huh? Anyways, life is sucky for me now still. I am constantly broke and my boss hates me, keeps cutting my shifts. Honestly, I know I am not a bad waitress because they wanted me on Melbourne Cup day (when there were many cheaper paying staff to choose from), busiest day in Aussie for food, you needed me. Oh well, I tried out for cotton on as well but competition was stiff and Australian so once again lost favour when it came to the interview and they didn't even try to hide it. Ahhh :( Aussie ain't half bad I guess, I met great housemates (mostly) and awesome friends :) We chill, we play, we laugh off our days. I just realised I haven't taken any photos with them (not on my record anyway). I shall steal some from facebook. 

Housemates :) Bhumit (Sunshine), Gowtham (pronounced Gotham like in Batman), Me and Aishah.

We look plastic without any photoshop... 

Late night kebabs with Ben (Bubblegum), Punit (P-Unit) and PJ.

Just realised PJ hadn't given me any of the photos from the photoshoots :( Gotta go ask (again, damn it peej) for them when I see him! It's supposed to be the end of the world today, kinda hope it would just end so I wouldn't need to worry bout rent, education and money... But if it doesn't, I guess I'll just keep on living and hope hope hope the world would be better tomorrow.

I don't know...

* shrugs* I don't know man... So what has been up with me lately?

Well, I look super Asian as you can see from the photo, I dyed off my highlights and now regretting it... Because 1. It looks so dull 2. My hair is even more damaged than before, friggin dry grass wei.

And I bought a new bag :) Just because. 

Even if I am super broke and in need of a new job to pay rent and stuff... No luck so far in finding jobs because well, Aussies are racist and they want experience, something that I don't have. So yea, but I am gonna try for real now, so, hopefully... :]

Mushrooms :D
Random shizz! I've gotten an instagram (username: chinchinichinchin) #followme #addicted #been #posting #lotsofpics :). Yea, I've been cooking my own food for a while already and I am gaining weight, don't know whether that is good or bad yet but I don't ever want to be underweight again. Even though I looked great with a flat stomach and thin arms and legs, it was just unhealthy... 

For those who have no instagram, I got this back for my biology assignment on genetics... And I am super bangga of myself. I was absolutely depressed before I moved out, and slacking a lot since but so much happier :D I don't have to pretend to be happy anymore, I did this report in the very last minute and I might not deserve such high marks... But I think its a sign for me to start doing what I am decent at for now, studying. I am still feeling sick of it and I don't know why the world puts such a pressure on qualifications but I am hoping for the best, that this all would be worth it in the end :D 

Off to study, toodles :) 

Trust and Choices

So basically, I got my parent's agreement on moving out... That's the only good thing so far... Watched:

It was boring and the fairies look like mini gollums: 

with smiles :) And that's creepy...
Moving on, I am currently looking for a place that's cheap and near uni...  Hopefully be able to move out by end of this week :D I just wish my parents would trust me and stop the crazy stalking thing, I feel trapped now. I just want to make my own decisions and choices for once and not be patronized. I know that they love me and they worry but I just need my own space and freedom. I still can't wait to grow up so that I can earn my own money, make my own decisions and just live the way I want. I want independence, even though its artificial since I still need money from my parents for education. At least, I can finally not worry about family impressions after this... My choice, my responsibility, my life :D 

Promises, Promises

Its been too long eh? I promised to update my blog more when I'm in Aussie... But well, stuff stuff... Just finished my exams, so I have time to FINALLY update... So last month,

I GREW TALLER!
Okay, no. But my family came to visit :) It was super fun shopping and camwhoring with the sis after so long... Glad to see my parents as well, I mean... ASIAN sikit :D
Oh and I got rid of my stupid-retarded-aussie-accent-that-sounds-super-weird-on-an-asian. So, chobibi!
Also, rattling around my mind these months was the idea of moving out... Been considering and finally decided, I WILL MOVE OUT! Aussie was the promise of independence, instead I became even more dependent on people and that annoys me. I know I sound super spoilt and I admit I am... I need more space and freedom. Daddy and mommy will be so worried, but it's time they understand that I'm an adult and stop treating me like a porcelain doll. Of course, the extra expenses, I am willing to cover :D

When I get my wifi, I promise to update more, til then... Toodles :)

Aussie

HEH... Blogging from aussie! I guess I won't blog that often now, there's no wifi here... Anyways, being in aussie for now lar... it feels like having free aircond all day, everyday! And I miss the meis and the behs and everyone man... It's lonely here so far, cause I haven't started uni... But the city is real interesting!

Horse carriages and people painting themselves to look like statues!

I guess that's it... Update soon, hopefully :)

Awkward

Feeling it lar... Sheldon :)

Watched THE BIG BANG THEORY with the dad and the sis, finished 4 seasons in 4 days! That's like 100+ episodes of crazy science shizz~ Funny as heck series, and thus leading to my new obssesion:

JIM PARSONS :D
Guess how old is he? 39 man! First time I seen an angmor that looked so much younger than his age! And... He's GAY! What the heck :( No wonder lar... The world no more hot guys, all become gay and no children, no genes passed on... Bio, Bio, BIO!
Awkward silence... ANYWAYS, you know what's more awkward? Guys noticing your haircut and saying you look naise~ Had to LOL it off lar... *awkward fingertip thing*
Ahhhh! Leaving on the 15th, 15th! That's like one day away... Feels weird, awkwardness in a new country, gotta love it lar, BYE MALAYSIA!

Sigh...

I don't know what happened to our friendship... But I guess its fate that the glich is now when I'm about to leave so we can't fix it? I don't know why the hell you're acting all so cool to me... I didn't even do anything! Got a problem? Always said tell me so I can fix it... Ah well.

Anyways, Chinese New Year, Same old same old, Angpau money's getting less each year! The world is all about money now :( I wish, I wish I was rich, all I think about is money nowadays, worrying doesn't make a difference though... Aussie cash RM 3.30, its gonna be a rough four years... Will I even complete it?

On the up side, I always feel better when I see animals :D So I chose La Trobe, there's a wildlife sanctuary there! Maybe I can get a job with them there... I finally got my contact lenses! Its a real pain putting them in with small eyes, better than glasses though, probably lose them :( 

Lou sang for luck :D

First time eyeliner on the top lid...

It's amazing how eyeliner can open up the eyes :)

SAM books for sale!

That;s what I've been yelling for 3 days straight in front of Taylor's... Last week Tuesday til Thursday! This year's students are really hard bargains lar. Lost a bit of money from the sales. A bit = RM 200++ Also, I had to sell 3 sets cause I help my friends. Oh the things I would do for just a lil bit more of cold hard cash. Selling books is hard work, the students this year are seriously real asses. I mean RM 270 for the precious Graphic Calculator? That's a deal! GCs were sold for 300 minimum last year second, third, forth, fifth hand. We SAM-ers last year were kinda naive lar. RM 100 bucks per subject was pretty good deal to us. But now? Hoho. RM 50 for 3 bools + past years and solutions + notes : NEED TO CONSIDER! Come on man. Also, I've been yelling SAM books not A-LEVELS! Do I look like a A-Levels smarter-than-80%-of-the-world PERSON? Nope. Anyways, Rugi Business Habis and I look like a lobster with a tan now. Heh. It was good experience lar. See how kiamsiap the world is now even though they are RICH since they can go Taylor's. Don't regret pissing some really ridiculous potential customers either! If your friend really got the whole set for RM 10... That's just ONE set, you'll never find another... If "that" side is selling RM 25 for original: BUY FROM THEM. Trust me. It's a real DEAL! Heh. Maybe shouldn't have done that but... WHATEVER.
OH and I went to 1 U yester and saw this amazing Lion(s) dance.

If only, there was a purple one

 CNY is coming lar... Hope the ANGPAUS will be good this year. I mean, Some Extra cash for Aussie :)

I CAN DRIVE!

My car?
<3

Yesh! I finally passed my stupid license. WITHOUT BRIBING! I know lar... I failed 2 times parking and 3 times the road. But then, PJ mar... Somemore my driving school scold people for bribing and not cheap to bribe ler... RM 800 for everything! Must well take a whole course at another school that guarantee pass...  Curse my bad luck lar... Always got people cut me and the motorbikes all ride like live too long d or something. 3rd time road is the most retarded one. Bloody female tester PMS or waiting to eat lunch. Regret didn't take the subang package. Test easier, somemore fail d no need pay extra to retest. Quite a deal lar. Anyways, Yea... I can DRIVE now! Heh :)

The Most Beautiful Boy Ever

Sephiroth <3

Yazoo~

Both characters have fascinated me to no end since I set my eyes on them. Their astounding beauty was my focus, their "evil-ness" irrelevant. It's the same with my current obsession just more:

Andrej Pejic <3

Who? The muse for Jean Paul Gaultier as

in his Haute Couture Bride's dress

Blonde... James Blonde ;)

Rocketing up to popularity, meet Andrej Pejic the Gender-Bender Supernova!

As a female:

And as a Male:

Yes, its a HE :D A real life SEPHIROTH <3 He's mood shots were especially stunning:

Confusing even professional model scouts, landing him into magazine covers:

What I never expected was how likable he was:

I thought he had a lisp, but it was his Serbian/Croatian accent :D

Also, his sense of humor from his twitter and other interviews and his recent quotes during a photoshoot:

       

I mean Yeah... Found a real-life SEPHIROTH <3, Draco Malfoy, Rosalie Cullen :D In love lar <3

Hmm...

So right... Let's start with a photo:

that's me today morning until...

about 5 piles of this later... 3 hours of crying and this:

is me now taken 5 minutes ago...

So if you haven't noticed... I CUT MY FREAKING PRIDE AND JOY LONG ASS HAIR! :((((( Mega dislike the new hair man... Stupid hairstylist don't listen to me. I was planning one slightly longer and thicker hair style... Now it looks like bird nest :( Thanks to my mom lar... Say SHORT and LAYERED plus CURLED  for the day aja) How exactly does that look neater than the one on the top? UGH. I'm not gonna go out anymore until it grows back to a decent length! Oh and this was my plan:

Andrej Pejic <3
Without the blond and with my hair... and yeah... stay a girl :)

Why?

I went to Mid Valley again to get new shoes and a haircut! Decorations were up and they were

A-maze-ing

Geddit geddit? Blame that on Mid Valley they said it first... But seriously, what is with the weird ass Christmas themes this year? Needless to say, I forgot about the haircut and didn't any shoes lar... SALE sounds damn naise right? Still didn't get anything but we gots some

MACAROONS!

Sibeh expensive weih RM 28 for 8 but try try lar

Oh and we got free valet parking at

The Gardens

Quite yeng lar got people park your car and no need find parking...

Go back that time some more got 2 hot angmors stare at me <3 1 blondy and 1 tall-ey Shoulda took pics!

Just wondering lar... Is there something wrong with my face or what nowadays? Why people keep staring everywhere I go... I mean if you are those hot angmors then I don't mind lar but children? Me no pedophile sorreh! And those random teenage boys? Hormones? Or am I seeing things? Feeling awkward nowadays, went to Ikano and Curve to watch

with the wife and the other two guys... I thought Lea Michelle was Rebecca Black lar:

Lea Michelle and Rebecca Black

They look alike no? 

Wish I don't feel so strange and inadequate around people... The world feels like a popularity contest that I'm not even qualified to join, maybe its been too long... 

Things I never understood

1. People using camwhore pictures then adding a quote as a caption.

I get it, I get it! You ARE pretty... SO? How on earth does a FACE represent a quote like: "We all want happiness, nobody wants pain. But you can't get a rainbow without a little rain." I mean a quote like :" A smile could change a person's day" CAN be face generated, wanna camwhore with a quote? Use those.

2. People who like 1. as a status on facebook

What actually do you like about the caption or the camwhore picture or both? Please specify in the comments please. She's really pretty, I KNOW! But are you all encouraging that narcissism or stupidity of correlating unrelated things together?

3. Mosque's loudspeakers

I understand that you need to spread the religion or call your disciples to pray. But seriously, THAT LOUD FOR THAT LONG? I respect your religion... No need to shove it down my throat every Friday. Thank you.

4.Smoking.

In lifts, indoors, near strangers. You wanna kill yourself, I don't care, just don't do it where it might kill me. I know I sound selfish, but its true. Can't you all wait another minute to get out of the lift before lighting that cigarette? Many people will use it within 5 minutes of your departure, how would you like it if I pepper-sprayed the lift before you go in?

5. Movie rating in Malaysia

Those PG-13, SX-18 and U thingys... Got age limit right for each movie? But then go in to watch all the scenes also cut already must well make it all U! Just watched:

Breaking Dawn
All the sex scenes, kissing scenes even the give birth scenes also cut cut cut. Movie no flow d... Wanna give rating then don't cut lar! Pay so much to watch cartoons.

6. My annoyance some of these things
Seriously Don't Know why I waste my time and energy getting agitated at these things. Really beh tahan sometimes, especially about facebook statuses and all... Ah should have trusted my instincts and never have befriended that THING! Ugh, some lessons gotta learn the hard way...