Thoughts...

Hello old friend,
It's been awhile and I have grown up (not height wise, still the same shorty)... I've been studying and its just been difficult to wrap my head around these couple of lectures so I decided to procrastinate, what I do best! Looking back at my and others' old/new blog posts... I've realised how different I am nowadays and how disconnected I have become from my old friends, hell, even my new friends and the world. I was such a different person when I was young, so motivated, so active and just so much more... But nowadays, I rarely step out of the house unless invited out (which I bail half the time and I'm not even asked out that often) or to go to work or university. It scares me, how much I crave the quiet and solitary, how much I just want to keep sleeping and not wake up. When and why have I started to become ... this. Looking with someone else's perspective, I would never have assumed me as someone this miserable. What? Chin Li who is always all smiles, carefree, if a little antisocial? Chin Li that bought a car, live so luxuriously has an adorable cat and is welcomed by so many people both at work and socially? Carefree has become my middle name, as in I don't care enough to bother, cannot be fucked whatsoever about most things.v There is more than meets the eye, I am exceptionally grateful for all the luxuries I have and the opportunity to come to Melbourne and live so comfortably and have such a reception at work and my tiny group of friends I've met here that stuck to me thick and thin but I don't feel that I have improved in any way nor advanced anyone's life. But I am okay with that. I don't need to be relevant, I just need to get my life sorted and get my sense of urgency back. One thing I am certain about is how much I absolutely loathe studying, having absolutely no interest to do so and I cannot wait until I am done with this degree. I am still the same person, with my little nerdy love for books and video games. I just feel like I've past my prime at the age of 22 which is ridiculous. I won't say I'm happy, but I am content, I have outgrown the old bright, active, social butterfly Chin Li but I will from now on strive to be better than her even though it seems impossible. I will reconnect with my old friends, make an effort with my new ones and just stop this bullshit "content" and try. Just start trying again. Carefree is good, but care is better. I miss you.

Maybe I won't wake up tomorrow

Hello blog, it's been awhile... Mainly cause I have no exciting news. Tried out a new job last last week at a fruit and vegetable shop, it was all good... Then it sucked, cause I'm too short for the job? I'm glad though I had a chance on this one cause other companies just want "Australians" or "experience" which both I am not and have none. Seriously, Aussie get your shit together, give us internationals a chance and if you don't give experience where we gon get some huh? Anyways, life is sucky for me now still. I am constantly broke and my boss hates me, keeps cutting my shifts. Honestly, I know I am not a bad waitress because they wanted me on Melbourne Cup day (when there were many cheaper paying staff to choose from), busiest day in Aussie for food, you needed me. Oh well, I tried out for cotton on as well but competition was stiff and Australian so once again lost favour when it came to the interview and they didn't even try to hide it. Ahhh :( Aussie ain't half bad I guess, I met great housemates (mostly) and awesome friends :) We chill, we play, we laugh off our days. I just realised I haven't taken any photos with them (not on my record anyway). I shall steal some from facebook. 

Housemates :) Bhumit (Sunshine), Gowtham (pronounced Gotham like in Batman), Me and Aishah.

We look plastic without any photoshop... 

Late night kebabs with Ben (Bubblegum), Punit (P-Unit) and PJ.

Just realised PJ hadn't given me any of the photos from the photoshoots :( Gotta go ask (again, damn it peej) for them when I see him! It's supposed to be the end of the world today, kinda hope it would just end so I wouldn't need to worry bout rent, education and money... But if it doesn't, I guess I'll just keep on living and hope hope hope the world would be better tomorrow.

I don't know...

* shrugs* I don't know man... So what has been up with me lately?

Well, I look super Asian as you can see from the photo, I dyed off my highlights and now regretting it... Because 1. It looks so dull 2. My hair is even more damaged than before, friggin dry grass wei.

And I bought a new bag :) Just because. 

Even if I am super broke and in need of a new job to pay rent and stuff... No luck so far in finding jobs because well, Aussies are racist and they want experience, something that I don't have. So yea, but I am gonna try for real now, so, hopefully... :]

Mushrooms :D
Random shizz! I've gotten an instagram (username: chinchinichinchin) #followme #addicted #been #posting #lotsofpics :). Yea, I've been cooking my own food for a while already and I am gaining weight, don't know whether that is good or bad yet but I don't ever want to be underweight again. Even though I looked great with a flat stomach and thin arms and legs, it was just unhealthy... 

For those who have no instagram, I got this back for my biology assignment on genetics... And I am super bangga of myself. I was absolutely depressed before I moved out, and slacking a lot since but so much happier :D I don't have to pretend to be happy anymore, I did this report in the very last minute and I might not deserve such high marks... But I think its a sign for me to start doing what I am decent at for now, studying. I am still feeling sick of it and I don't know why the world puts such a pressure on qualifications but I am hoping for the best, that this all would be worth it in the end :D 

Off to study, toodles :) 

Trust and Choices

So basically, I got my parent's agreement on moving out... That's the only good thing so far... Watched:

It was boring and the fairies look like mini gollums: 

with smiles :) And that's creepy...
Moving on, I am currently looking for a place that's cheap and near uni...  Hopefully be able to move out by end of this week :D I just wish my parents would trust me and stop the crazy stalking thing, I feel trapped now. I just want to make my own decisions and choices for once and not be patronized. I know that they love me and they worry but I just need my own space and freedom. I still can't wait to grow up so that I can earn my own money, make my own decisions and just live the way I want. I want independence, even though its artificial since I still need money from my parents for education. At least, I can finally not worry about family impressions after this... My choice, my responsibility, my life :D 

Promises, Promises

Its been too long eh? I promised to update my blog more when I'm in Aussie... But well, stuff stuff... Just finished my exams, so I have time to FINALLY update... So last month,

I GREW TALLER!
Okay, no. But my family came to visit :) It was super fun shopping and camwhoring with the sis after so long... Glad to see my parents as well, I mean... ASIAN sikit :D
Oh and I got rid of my stupid-retarded-aussie-accent-that-sounds-super-weird-on-an-asian. So, chobibi!
Also, rattling around my mind these months was the idea of moving out... Been considering and finally decided, I WILL MOVE OUT! Aussie was the promise of independence, instead I became even more dependent on people and that annoys me. I know I sound super spoilt and I admit I am... I need more space and freedom. Daddy and mommy will be so worried, but it's time they understand that I'm an adult and stop treating me like a porcelain doll. Of course, the extra expenses, I am willing to cover :D

When I get my wifi, I promise to update more, til then... Toodles :)

Aussie

HEH... Blogging from aussie! I guess I won't blog that often now, there's no wifi here... Anyways, being in aussie for now lar... it feels like having free aircond all day, everyday! And I miss the meis and the behs and everyone man... It's lonely here so far, cause I haven't started uni... But the city is real interesting!

Horse carriages and people painting themselves to look like statues!

I guess that's it... Update soon, hopefully :)

Awkward

Feeling it lar... Sheldon :)

Watched THE BIG BANG THEORY with the dad and the sis, finished 4 seasons in 4 days! That's like 100+ episodes of crazy science shizz~ Funny as heck series, and thus leading to my new obssesion:

JIM PARSONS :D
Guess how old is he? 39 man! First time I seen an angmor that looked so much younger than his age! And... He's GAY! What the heck :( No wonder lar... The world no more hot guys, all become gay and no children, no genes passed on... Bio, Bio, BIO!
Awkward silence... ANYWAYS, you know what's more awkward? Guys noticing your haircut and saying you look naise~ Had to LOL it off lar... *awkward fingertip thing*
Ahhhh! Leaving on the 15th, 15th! That's like one day away... Feels weird, awkwardness in a new country, gotta love it lar, BYE MALAYSIA!